Sacred Synergy : Boundaries and Belonging
Sacred Synergy: Boundaries and Belonging
Today was our first Sacred Synergy Circle at Mandira in Kauai.
Sacred Synergy is an intentional authentic relating practice that includes interactive mindfulness exercises from games and partner exercises to councils and other circles. Sacred Synergy is distinct from some authentic relating practices in that it has an explicit intention to facilitate resonance through structures that support relating from essence vs. ego.
Today was a magnificently beautiful Saturday afternoon, and it was questionable whether people would break away from the sun to join us, so our first week at Mandira turned out to be a sweet intimate first circle at this amazing new hub for conscious community culture…
Lotus and Jay ~ the facilitators posing in the mirror at Mandira with the most perfect sticker for the Sacred Synergy work
QUALITY > QUANTITY
Sacred Synergy is a potent practice no matter how many people join—in fact one of the participants in our small circle today noted how there’s actually a way that the smaller group supports a deeper and richer energetic field because we are able to drop in with each other faster than we would with a big group.
If you’ve ever heard that saying “Whenever two or more are gathered, I am there…” it reflects one of the philosophies behind the Sacred Synergy practice. It is an experience of going into the mindful presence state achieved through meditation while also being in a relational field with one or more people. The “I am” presence is thus amplified in the mirror of each person being able to reveal and witness one another in that state.
Just like meditating on a cushion is a practice for bringing more awareness to the self, Sacred Synergy is a practice for bringing a greater awareness of self and other while relating.
This practice includes skills supported through 7 Sacred Synergy Guidelines and the primary skill of the work is perceiving and communicating with multi-sensory perception through a practice we call “The Language of Presence”.
Sacred Synergy Guidelines
Speak from personal experience, Using “I” statements and holding space for paradox
Speak from the present moment/ BE HERE vs telling stories from the past
One person speaks at a time (usually with a talking object) and we show resonance w fingers
The intention of the practice is resonance (love/compassion/understanding etc) so we commit to a non-judgmental space of unconditional positive regard relating from essence vs. ego (this is not a debate of right/wrong… both can be true)
Honor confidentiality
Rule of 2 feet— you are a sovereign being responsible for yourself you can always say “no”, “pass” etc. but by being here you agree to honor these guidelines
Practice using the language of presence
The Language of Presence
BODY
sensations
“I’m noticing…”
HEART
emotions
“I’m feeling…”
MIND
intentions/desires
“I’m wanting…”
SPIRIT
symbols/imagery
“I’m imagining…”
Experience tuning into the Language of Presence by listening to this sample from today’s field meditation:
Two key themes that emerged in the field today were BOUNDARIES & BELONGING.
,
BOUNDARIES….
A big part of this practice is being able to see ourselves and collective consciousness through a different lens than our habituated ego-based ways of relating. When we transcend our personal views, we are able to tune into an expanded field of consciousness that is beyond any one of us.
The first guideline, “speak from personal experience” is a boundary that is new for some people who come to the practice, and it can be a game changer in how we relate.
An example of this that came up today was when one person shared a contrasting view with something a man had said, and the man then responded by reflecting that he saw that contrasting view as the person being “defensive”. This was a great teaching moment in the practice because it was an opportunity for the man to go deeper into his own experience—what was he feeling/wanting etc. in himself rather than projecting that the other person was defensive?
As it turned out, he actually discovered that he was feeling defensive because the person had presented a contrasting view. (What a valuable mirror for him to see how he had been projecting his own feelings onto the other). He then realized that once he owned that feeling for himself he had an easier time letting it go and being able to understand the other perspective (without having to agree/not agree— per guideline 4).
The topic that people were sharing contrasting views about had to do with a “heavy” energy of pain that seemed to be in the “field”, that some people attributed to the energy of the “place” and possibly due to challenging dynamics between locals and non-locals in Kauai. One of the views was that it was important for non-locals to respond to this pain, but another view was to not take on other people’s pain…
The latter perspective came from a woman who shared how she had spent decades learning how to create emotional boundaries, and who this reflection hit home for as she is currently working on learning how to let her teenage son experience pain without having to “fix it”. She talked about how she had grown up as an empath, feeling the pain of the world, and how that experience had actually made her feel less effective in life when she took on other people’s pain. She described a subtle distinction in being able to be aware of the pain other people experience, but not take it on, and ultimately to respect everyone as sovereign beings able to be responsible for themselves rather than needing to be “fixed”.
Meanwhile, other people felt it was important for them to really “feel it” in order to be able to work through the energy rather than numb out.
Both can be true, simultaneously, and by being able to hold both perspectives, this practice facilitates an embodiment of oneness that transcends duality. Sometimes we call it a “technology of unification” for this very purpose. While this is a simple and low-stakes topic, the ability to practice skills like this can translate into “peacemaking” in helping to shift divisive patterns of relating that lead to violence, hate and war on societal levels and conflict and pain in more intimate relationships with friends, family and other loved ones.
BELONGING…
Everyone in the circle today had moved far away from the families and communities where they had grown up. Multiple people talked about having a sense of not “belonging” in their families, and some even said that they resisted a sense of belonging—at least in the sense of wanting to conform to an existing status quo (boundaries).
We explored how ego dynamics can often lead us to feel like we don’t belong, and how there’s a powerful sense of belonging in the non-judgmental space Sacred Synergy provides. A space where it doesn’t matter what your background is. Where you come from. The color of your skin. How much money you have. How skilled you are etc. Everyone is equally included and empowered within the space to be seen, heard, and connected.
What would it be like if this kind of practice COULD ripple out to support bridging different populations on Kauai (and beyond)?
What if feeling collective pain in the field was pointing us toward a potential impact for this work?
Join us at Kauai’s new conscious community space Mandira Saturdays from 1-3pm to explore this inquiry with us and contribute your unique perspective to this practice of listening and actualizing a cocreative potential where the sum is greater than the parts! More details at https://www.facebook.com/events/1229043400577610
